During the evening Anne-Marie met Muhammed Nasir, or Nas as he’s known to friends. The pair fell in love and this May, Anne-Marie experienced the exuberance, colour and magic of a Pakistani wedding.
While weddings in Pakistan are a lavish affair at the best of times, the fact that Nas is the son of Abdul Salam Butt, politician and vice-president of the Pakistani People’s Party and also part of the largest family in Kashmir and the Punjab province, meant this wedding was going to be something special.
In October 2007 the couple decided to get married and in December had a low-key ceremony, a Nikah, in Birmingham. While this allowed the couple to live together under Islamic law, the plan was always to go over to Pakistan and have a full wedding.With one ceremony under their belt, the couple travelled to Pakistan and on May 17 celebrated another Nikah.
After a few days break, what followed was a whirlwind of celebrations, traditional ceremonies and parties.On May 26, the Rasm-e-Hina was held, followed by the Joiree, Mehndi, Sehra Bandi, Barat, Sage and finally the Walima, which involved around 9,000 people at a ceremony in Rawalpindi, close to the Pakistani capital of Islamabad.
Rather than starting the ceremony around midday as in the UK, in Pakistan ceremonies will usually be held at night. Anne-Marie said for their Barat, the guests started to arrive from 10pm onwards. Due to the heat it is common for people to wake up around midday and then go to bed around 4am.
Being white, Anne-Marie attracted a lot of attention from strangers with many people stopping in the street to stare.She said: “The only people I met out there who had met a white person before had been to this county and I could count them on one hand. That was in six weeks. The people we met, especially the women and children were so humble.
“We went to a park in Lahore and I would say within 60 seconds there were 50 people there with mobile phones and cameras. At first it wasn’t very good because you couldn’t go anywhere but after a while you get used to it. Everywhere we went we had security guards and so I wasn’t unduly worried.”
Anne-Marie says firearms are a big part of life in Pakistan, not only for security but also when it comes to celebrations.Following some ceremonies, guests would fire weapons in the air to celebrate. On one occasion a number of guests were injured after an automatic weapon was dropped on the floor and discharged.
While in Britain it is considered bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress before the wedding, in Pakistan the couple are kept apart for a number of the ceremonies. Many traditions are observed throughout the proceedings.Anne-Marie said: “When you do the Nikah you don’t actually meet each other. Right up to the Barat you’re not allowed to see each other.
“The Barat is separate. I arrived first and the groom can be up to six hours late by tradition but I didn’t wait very long. Nas arrived and went into the men’s side and was there for about three hours. Then he came into the women’s side and we were together from then on.”
As with all weddings, clothing is a key part. Anne-Marie had a number of colourful dresses, one heavily embroidered by hand, which took considerable work by skilled craftsmen over a number of weeks. She said the gold jewellery she was given was so heavy it was difficult to wear comfortably.Anne-Marie said the Barat ceremony was particularly impressive. She said: “It was tremendously colourful.
“In the women’s side there are all these vibrant silks and everything is multi-coloured. It’s like an explosion in a paint factory.”As part of the Barat, the bride and groom are seated on grand thrones which some might liken to those seen at Posh and Becks’ wedding.
The guests will then line up and one by one come up to touch either the bride or groom’s hand and hand over gifts. 99.9 per cent offer money.Anne-Marie said: “He has the largest family in Kashmir and in the Punjab area of Pakistan and so there were just thousands of guests.
“ It was just a blur. They also speak a mixture of Punjabi and Urdu so it was quite challenging.“I am so privileged to have been there. I would not have missed it for anything. I wouldn’t do it again but was a life changing opportunity.“I have not got enough words to describe it. It was larger than life.”