Wedding Priestess was trolling around the 'net looking for trends and fun things happening with weddings. This was a new one to me (yes I DO live under a rock, now that you ask!). Apparently, you can get a wedding planner to come in and turn your wedding on i's head, kicking it and your stress levels up a few notches just before the wedding. You can either pay the planner to do it or you can compete to be on a tv show that will show everyone just how much stress you added to your life and why your attendants now all hate you.

So, ok, I might not have chosen this dress to get married in. But you know what? I didn't. I wore my little black velvet number. This woman wanted the poofy thing and she had it going on for her and her bridesmaids. They're not my wedding pictures and she probably loves her dress. She doesn't need anyone to fix her. She didn't need any more crinolines. (Sorry!)

Aside from the wastefulness of a complete wedding redo at the last minute, aside from nerves and stress of having to turn everything around, here's WP's biggest beef. It's time to remember that the wedding day is about getting married.

The role of your wedding ceremony is to move you from engaged to married and to invite your community into your lives.  The role of your wedding vows is to create a blueprint for your future life.  The role of your wedding reception is to celebrate with your community and to keep building that support.  Now reread the sentences. Nowhere did it say, the role of your wedding day is to shock, wow, awe (disgust?) your guests.

There's nothing in more glitz that is going to make you more married. And this is from a woman who loves rhinestones! (They don't call me the Wedding Priestess for no reason! Gotta love liturgical garb!). What makes wedding work is your honest vulnerability and your sheer delight in one another.

Just say no to the notion that your wedding must be over the top. It's not going to move you from "I do" to happily and healthily ever after. It's going to distract you and you won't remember why you threw the party. And that's not so good!

And right as your asking your wedding attendants to support this marriage for the rest of your life is not the time you want to be turning into the world's most unpleasant people. You don't need to fight with your beloved in the week(s) before you marry. You don't need to fight with your parents. You could just have a good time.

Really, just say no. It didn't work so well as an abstinence campaign, but maybe I've given you enough permission that we can make it work on wedding consultants who think you should be someone you aren't on your wedding day.